Mei Mei Fox is an inspiration to me. She is smart, beautiful and funny. Over the years she has chronicled her egg freezing journey in a variety of sites and interviews. When she was finally ready to use her eggs she was thrown a devastating curve ball – her eggs did not survive the shipment between SF and LA.
Her is an excerpt from a recent article she wrote about her path to motherhood:
When my 40th birthday loomed on the horizon, I still wasn’t pregnant. We had been trying for a year and a half. Although my frozen eggs were only two years younger than I was, they significantly improved my chances of success with IVF. I congratulated myself on my foresight as I arranged to have them shipped from San Francisco.
But the day after the shipping company confirmed that my precious cargo had been safely delivered, I received a call from my doctor in LA. “I’m sorry, MeiMei. I have bad news for you. It appears that all 18 of your eggs were destroyed.”
It took me several minutes to process what I’d just heard. My eggs were now a worthless scramble. The $12,000 I had spent and the emotional agony I’d gone through as a single woman – was all for nothing.
I screamed at God, “How can you betray me? What have I done to deserve this? Haven’t I been a good person? All I want is for my dream of having a family to come true!”
It took weeks of coping with depression, hours of doing yoga and meditating, and many mornings of patting my swollen eyelids with cucumber gel for me to begin to accept my new reality: There was no more backup plan.
“Didn’t anyone ever tell you not to put all your eggs in one basket?” my brother joked. I had recovered enough by that point to let out a weak laugh.
My fertility doctor assured me that I still had a decent shot at bearing my own children. There was hope. But our first two rounds of IVF failed.
The surprising thing? I’m okay. And that’s because of the meaning I have gained from this mess of broken eggs and dreams – from my infertility to my relationship failures. My partnership with Kiran is the most important aspect of my life. While my 18 frozen Plan Bs didn’t help me the way I intended, they did at least buy me the time and peace of mind to find true love.
And there’s more: Motherhood may not happen for me the way I imagined back when I used to role-play with my dolls. I may never give birth to my own biological child. In that case, Kiran and I are open to adoption. But no matter what, however it happens, we feel certain that the little person who eventually makes his or her way into our lives will be more than we dreamed, and everything we deserve.