Tina’s Stats: Froze @ 38, # eggs retrieved 10, # eggs frozen 9
Why did you decide to freeze your eggs?
I have been living in NYC for 20+ years working as a freelancer. For 17 years now, my lifestyle has always been traveling anywhere from 100200 days a year. While never a serial dater and kind of a late bloomer, I always assumed it would just happen, that I would just meet “the one”and we would have children. It hit me hard when I was 37 and still single. When six of my closest girlfriends all became pregnant at the same time, I found myself crying each time I heard the news. It’s a total cliché, but it’s true.
Interestingly, it’s never really been in at the top of my list of life fantasies to have a child, but once the option “window” was closing on me, I felt like I had to take some control over it. That’s when I decided to freeze. I now feel sure that I do want children, and am so thrilled that I did this for myself.
Women do have a clock and it sucks. It’s completely unfair that biology has not caught up with reality. As a woman, unfortunately, we do have to make a decision about this aspect of our lives. Even making no decision, is in fact, a decision.
What was the most difficult part of the process for you?
It was all difficult for me. Finding two weeks in a row where I was home was difficult. Arranging my complicated work schedule to do the early morning appointments was hard. Not telling everyone I knew what was going on with me was hard. It was also extremely expensive! I think ended up being around $13,000 in all. And, because I actually was home for two weeks straight, I added another medical procedure (minor surgery) on, which was extremely stressful and painful. But I would say the hardest part for me was that I was doing in alone.
I am an independent person, and thought I could do this (like everything else) alone. I told only one close friend, who was pregnant at the time and she didn’t have much free time to give me the coddling I felt I deserved. It was extremely emotional, a very, very dark time for me. Just going through the process alone, and all the reasons that lead me there, was so tough. All the big life questions came at me, and it felt insurmountable at times, even though I knew what I was doing was right. I am going to chalk it up to hormones. The absolute worst was the last trigger hormone shot before the retrieval. I spun down into the darkest depths of depression I have never felt before, it was very actually scary. I have never been so low and felt so alone.
It was extremely emotional, a very, very dark time for me. Just going through the process alone, and all the reasons that lead me there, was so tough.
You froze your eggs two years ago, what has changed since you froze your eggs?
Well the great news is that it is over! I am still single, but not so panicked about my future. I am thrilled I did it, in fact I wish I had done it a lot younger, but I didn’t really understand how it worked and there was not much information on it years ago. But I made the best decision for me at the time with the options I had. There are so many advancements all the time, it’s very exciting. I hope that all women would have the option to freeze their eggs one day, to give women the freedom to decide when it’s the right time for them.
What would you tell a woman who is considering freezing her eggs?
I would say just do it. It’s literally the best gift you can give yourself. It’s expensive, but so worth every single penny. Get a credit card, ask your parents, borrow from friends and family, whatever it takes. It gives you control and freedom over your life and body. Even if you never use your eggs, you could view it as the ultimate insurance package.
Any tips for women going into this process?
Spend time finding the right doctor for you. I have to say that my doctor and his staff were very flexible and easy to get a hold of, which was very important for me. They were patient and explained everything in great detail.
Get an emotional support team of friends/family/therapist lined up. I was a mess during it all, and I wish I would have had an entire support system lined up.
Be incredibly kind to yourself body and mindway before you start the process. I was very stressed out and overworked, which was not the ideal state to be in for this process. Ideally, being very calm, relaxed and happy would have made everything easier, and better for the eggs as well, I am sure.